How We Failed to Capitalize on Reformation Day

What is wrong with us? We've missed a major opportunity to make the Reformation relevant to 21st century people. The marketing geniuses that provide meaningful stuff for the shelves of our Christian bookstores certainly have overlooked this one. Why are we not seeing quality items for sale such as:

1. Indulgence trading cards.
2. An "educational" video series on the Reformers using animated pieces of fruit - or maybe cute little bears dressed in period costume.
3. Reformation T-shirts (oh right, we've got them)
4. Luther and Calvin vs. The Pope and Tetzel wrestling action figures.
5. A modernized version of the 95 Theses, entitled, "Hey Mr. Pope!"
6. Greeting cards with pithy sayings from Luther's Table Talk. Luther needs to be cartoonized of course. How cute! (Hey - is there any way we can get these on Starbucks cups??)
7. Diet of Worms gummy candy.

Oh well, maybe next year.